Of Motes and Beams and Toddlers

These past few months, my husband and I have been struggling in our efforts to work with our tenth toddler. Screeching, crying, demanding, and hitting are her normal daily activities. She is very, VERY TWO. I have been exasperated trying to deal with her on top of everyone else’s constant needs.
Then I noticed a change in how my husband interacted with Toddler. His tone and demeanor became very calm, kind, and positive. Even more intriguing was her response. Whereas fists were being thrown at me, Toddler would run to Dad for hugs, listen to him the first time, and tantrums were thrown to the wayside…with her Dad.
"What is going on?" I asked.
"The Spirit told me to change, to treat her like an angel," he commented.
I chewed on this for days. Change. How could I change? The thought of praying to ask for direction, then working through my own issues felt totally overwhelming. I have everyone else’s problems to correct. Must I throw my own into the pile too? 
But then Matthew 7:3 came to mind. "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?"
Ouch. True statement. 
So I asked. 
 The answer? "LISTEN," the Holy Ghost whispered to me. 
That seemed simple enough. I spent the next few days trying to focus on listening to the people around me. It made a difference! There was less yelling over the top of each other. Mom can only respond to one person at a time, so they had to take turns speaking. People seemed happier because they were understood, including Toddler. It turns out that many of her behaviors were rooted in the frustration of never having her task-oriented mother’s full attention. 
President Russell M. Nelson of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints taught, "To do anything well requires effort. Becoming a true disciple of Jesus Christ is no exception. Increasing your faith and trust in Him takes effort."
Seeing the results now, I wish I would have mustered up the faith and effort months earlier! There are still rough days, but things are improving.

God know what we need. We just have to ask!