School Your Desires

Have you ever thought about the roots of your actions?

In the April 2011 General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Elder Dallin H. Oaks taught, “Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions.”

That’s worth reading again, more slowly and thoughtfully this time: “Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions.”

Now apply this concept to parenting.

This is going to take some self-analysis and honesty. I’ve been pondering on it all week myself. What do you really desire? A day off? A clean house? Silent children? To do God’s will? Junk food? To become more like Jesus Christ? A different body shape? Children who know how to find answers to life’s questions? Peace in your marriage?

Desires change. There have been times this month that my desire was just to make it through the day. With that very basic desire, I was pretty miserable. My priorities were to keep people from hurting each other and to keep food on the table, which led to how I spent my time. Being a children interaction referee and short order cook are emotionally and physically taxing roles!

After days of being stuck in “survival mode”, I found myself on my knees pleading for help. “I want to do this right, Father. I feel awful. Please teach me how to change.”

My dear friends, our Father in Heaven loves His children. That’s us! He hears and answers prayers, not always immediately and not always in a predictable manner, but answer He will.

This time my answer came in the form of peace. Through the power of the Holy Ghost, my heart felt calm and healed. Thoughts stopped running in agitated circles and were directed to focusing on the needs of my individual children.

In schooling my desires to move off my own misery and onto seeking God’s will, priorities and focus shifted back into place, naturally directing my choices and actions back where they should be as a mother. I felt some spring back in my step and a twinkle back in my eyes. It was life-changing.

“Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.” Doctrine and Covenants 6:36

Next week’s article will address working with your children’s desires and motivators.