You Won’t Have to Tell, It Will Show on Your Face.

Eye rolls and physical distancing. Sullen smirks and sarcastic comments. Quick meal consumption and a hasty retreat behind closed doors. This was not my normally cheerful, witty, happy-go-lucky son. What was going on?

It was the start of “hybrid learning” semester number two. Everyone older than six had daily online schooling to complete on district-owned chrome books, but today the behavior of my middle school-aged son had raised some concerns. Something was not quite right. I finally decided to dismiss it as a bad day. Who doesn’t have occasional bad days, right?

That afternoon my 10-year-old daughter followed me outside as I was preparing to leave for an errand run.

“Mom, I need to talk to you.”

“Okay, what’s up?”

“It’s about my older brother. I don’t want to tattle, but I’ve been where he is before, and it’s not a good place to be. He’s watching movies on You-Tube instead of doing his homework, and he won’t listen to me about stopping.”

Ah ha. It’s not just a bad day.

I thanked my daughter and assured her that I would attend to the situation.

Later that day, my son’s internet search history was checked. I will give him this — at least he finished his homework before diving into hours of brainless Pink Panther cartoon consumption.

What was even more interesting was how his choice, even a simple and fairly harmless choice, affected his countenance. This childhood poem came to mind:

You don’t have to tell how you live each day,
You don’t have to say if you work or play.
A tried, true barometer serves in the place — —
However you live, it will show in your face.
The false, the deceit that you bear in your heart,
Will not stay inside where it first gets its start;
For sinew and blood are thin veils of lace — —
What you wear in your heart, you wear on your face.

The young man in question was called in for a frank discussion on trust and electronic use. He set up new personal boundaries wherein he would complete his online homework where people would pass behind him regularly. But even more important was the spiritual education that transpired.

“Son, do you know that the whole family could tell something was wrong today?”

He looked baffled, “Really? How would they know that?”

“You were sullen and moody. You didn’t want to be around us. You wouldn’t make eye contact or joke around. The younger siblings seemed to irritate you instead of amuse you. You left lunch with out a second serving to go back to your ‘homework’….. That’s not you! Can you tell how your choices affect whether or not you have the Holy Ghost as your companion?”

Quietly, he looked at his hands. “That’s not who I want to be. I am sorry. It’s pretty hard not to be distracted, but I will do better.”

And he did do better! Although it took time to adjust to the new seating location, he did not complain. When his homework was done, the device was put away. Then our happy, helpful son and brother was back!

The conclusion of that childhood poem rings true as well:

If you live close to God in His infinite grace,
You don’t have to tell it, it shows in your face.

Our Savior explained it this way in Luke 11:34: “The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single, thy whole body also is full of light; but when thine eye is evil, thy body also is full of darkness.”

This concept seems to be true for all ages and stages. Personally, when my “eye”, or my focus, falls away from eternal goals, I am grumpy, impossible to please, and constantly looking for brain-numbing “escapes” from my present reality.

When redirected away from that path by the Holy Ghost, I am apt to quietly say, like my son, “This is not who I want to be. I am sorry. It’s pretty hard not to be distracted, but with some help from my Savior, I will do better.”